French visa, eve of travel and lost passions

10/8 - As I stepped out the front door on Friday to go to the library, I noticed a familiar FedEx envelope sitting on the welcome mat. I instantly knew what this meant.

Momentarily distracted from my original purpose, I picked up the envelope with a growing excitement. My heart rate quickened. This was it. I had prepared myself for the possibility that my visa application would be denied. So, as if the French Consulate knew what I would be thinking when I saw the envelope, they had placed my passport into the envelope open to the page where this visa is found.

The visa is tinged with green, and my surly, unshaven mugshot dominates the left side. Finally, a concrete answer. I felt a sense of relief. It's official: I'll live in France! Outside once again, I punched the air, jumped into space and let out a loud cheer to break the silence of the neighborhood. And while driving to the library I let more joy burst from me in the form of excitable yelling and more cheers.

I leave for France on Monday. The idea is suddenly that much more real. I will use this opportunity to build self-respect, humility, vulnerability, work ethic and, hopefully, a more complete understanding of myself. There will be much more focus on self improvement this time around in Europe, but that doesn't mean there won't be travel involved as well. It will be stupid to pass up an opportunity to fly from Paris to Lisbon, Portugal round trip for $36.

In other news, I took the Foreign Services Officer test last week. If nothing else, I know what to expect for the next test. If I did in fact fail it, I cannot retake it for a year, so that will give me plenty of time to catch up on the reading ans studying. Discipline will come into play here. Also, in an effort to understand the job more, I scheduled an appointment to meet with the Diplomat in Residence of the Northwest in Berkeley. But since she was out sick, I spoke to her on the phone. The gig sounds fantastic.

10/10 - With just a week left in the United States (Shit, it still doesn't feel real), my parents took me on a road trip to Yosemite National Park to remind me of what I'll be moving away from. I haven't been to Yosemite since probably high school when I hated hiking. In fact, I'm a completely different person now compared to 10 years ago (imagine that?), so this road trip was a blast. 

This time in Yosemite we hiked North Dome, a 10-mile trek to the cliff directly opposite Half Dome. It was a stunning view, but the hike itself was deceptive. The first couple of miles were flat and easy, but the final mile to North Dome was steep, slick and rocky, because the only surface was the larger-than-life granite cliffside. I knew the hike would get much more difficult! 

My parents also took me to Hetch Hetchy Reservoir, a part of Yosemite where few guests visit. It was great how silent the lake was; next time I return to California I'd like to hike that whole trail around the reservoir. But this was another reminder of the features of California, and everything it offers. People all over the world would kill to live here, and sometimes us native Californians take it for granted. And as for Yosemite...how have I not seen more of it? Why did I never have the interest to explore it? That park is incredible.

13/10 - Not only have I lost the passion for sports writing, adding to this blog has lost its fun as well. It has become a tedious chore, a task born out of habit. It no longer provides joy or entertainment, simply an obligation to other people. 

It was pointed out to me today that I write without passion or emotion in this blog, essentially just documenting a chronological order of events during my life. So, I will step away for a couple of weeks in order to explore myself and what I actually want and need from this upcoming year and my life. Writing, obviously, is nothing more than a hobby for me at this point.

I currently find myself back in Visalia just a few days before the flight. It seems appropriate that I'm back in this area, the sight of recent revelations and reformations. During lunch today, a friend asked me, "Mike, what are you?" in response to me saying, "I wouldn't be shit without my parents' help." I pondered an answer for a moment. 

"I'm a recovering asshole," I said.

During the year in Porterville, I moved away from common courtesy, manners, etiquette, respect and empathy. This trip to France will take me back to basics. I must understand others before expecting others to understand me. 

Most of all, I need to rediscover the joy I once found in writing. Putting my thoughts into words used to be automatic. I used to be inspired to write by everyday life. Lately I haven't felt the strong urge to write, maybe because I burned myself out. This will be the final post until I become settled in Cherbourg. 

I'll end the post here. Suddenly, the story of my car being towed away in San Francisco while I was away for 20 minutes doesn't seem so important anymore. That isn't the kind of inspiration I need to reignite my love of getting these words down.

Call this an intervention.

Another day in Los Angeles, a new library card and the complicated visa to France

21/7 - I made the trek to Los Angeles yesterday to take the test for the Public Information Officer position with the Los Angeles Community College District. The office was in the heart of downtown LA, which would be a cool place to work.

This was my first time in the heart of downtown Los Angeles among the skyscrapers of the vast, smoggy metropolis. And just like every other time I find myself walking near buildings this huge, I found myself in awe. I'm a city kid, but not like this.

Since a school within the district will enjoy its 50th anniversary in January, the 2.5-hour test consisted of us writing two press releases about the event, writing a script for a video that would target high school students interested in attending that school and outlining the marketing and promotional plan for the anniversary celebration. I honestly have no idea how I did, but I'm glad to have finished. The first 30 seconds or so, my mind exploded and was empty of ideas. But, ideas began sprouting up here and there, and eventually the exercise became fun.

There were nine other people taking the test, all of whom were wearing nice clothes. And then there I was in a T-shirt with sweaty pits, denim jeans with dust and dirt from a recent hike and dirty Chuck Taylors. This is because, upon my early arrival to LA, I got the sudden and spontaneous idea to hike the hills near the giant and iconic Hollywood sign. I ended up at the Griffith Observatory after a two-mile round-trip hike, dripping with sweat but energized from going into the little amount of nature found in a cement jungle.

After taking the test, I ended up in the downtown library, another unplanned event. I exited the library with a library card and several beginning French language lessons on CD so I could be productive while battling traffic on my way out of LA. It was a brilliant yet spontaneous idea. That library is amazing, one that puts the one in Porterville to complete shame. There are more than six floors of knowledge there, though I didn't immediately find a couple of the books on the recommended reading list for the FSO test in October.

It was a short trip to one of the United States' greatest cities, but the day was filled with unplanned joys which makes for a great story.

In other news, it appears securing a long-stay visa for France will not be as straightforward as I thought. I need to apply in person at the LA consulate, which will be a month from now. Along with the application form, passport, money and photos, I will need what sounds like an invitation letter from my friend in Cherbourg, bank statements from the past two months, traveler insurance, and a letter promising I won't engage in any commercial or economic activity. I'm wondering how that will affect my online job with Bleacher Report.

And speaking of Bleacher Report, I learned earlier this week that the company will not pay me through a French bank account because of different tax laws and liability reasons. I'm thinking I will just keep my American bank account and use a credit card while over there.

All of this seems overwhelming, but I want to do this right. I've sent an email with all of my questions to the consulate which should be answered within three business days. I think everything will work out, though the process just got a bit more complicated. No worries. I enjoy the challenge.

Future career prospects, leading up to France and a former Ducati owner

9/7 - This is the twilight of my time in Porterville.

Subconsciously, I'm already planning on living in Cherbourg. I'm keeping my options open by sending out resumes, but the prospect of living in France seems to be the most real idea right now. Along with another career possibility, the way forward is clear. It will cost $110 for a long-stay visa in France (stays more than 90 days).

I want to chase a career as a Foreign Services Officer (FSO) with the State Department. This essentially means being a diplomat who represents the United States all over the world. I watched a video last week about the career, and I was in awe for a full 12 minutes. I saw myself in each of those people, and I very much want to chase that path. I was inspired.

The first step is to register for a FSO test. The next window to take this test is in October, so that gives me three months to study. I took the practice test last week, and with zero preparation I scored a 92; a passing mark was 100. Knowing this made me a bit more confident, but I still want to give myself the best chance possible of passing it.

This all fits in with moving to France as well. During the next testing window, I can take the test in Paris. The move would not interfere with this process, which will be long. The test is the first step, and there are nine in all. It'll be a long road for sure, but the most important thing that matters is that I finally know what I want to do with my life. It's too bad I didn't realize this when I was still in school, but it's better late than never.

17/9 - Goodbye, Ducati.

I sold the Ducati today, finally. While I took a huge hit on it, I still got a good chunk of money that will help with future plans, most notably France. That bike gave me some excellent fun, but it was time to move on. The lesson learned from being a Ducati owner is to do more extensive research on a make and model, including making sure I will be able to afford to maintain it. No regrets! I'll even have another motorcycle video in the next few weeks for you all to feast your eyes upon.

On Wednesday I will make another trek to Los Angeles, this time for a test that could lead to an interview if I pass. This is with the LA Community College District for the Public Information Officer position. I'd like to see where this goes because it's a good career opportunity, but the list of positive reasons to move to France keeps growing. But, if all goes well I will have a choice between Los Angeles and France.

One aspect of France that is so enticing is the fact I'll live by myself for the first time in my life. I have never not had a roommate. Add to that the fact I will live within walking distance of the train station and ferry terminal, and this is something that just seems right. I'm a traveler, and Cherbourg is the perfect base to do that. This is the way forward. It feels right, especially because of the fact I can fly to Paris from Oakland, CA for $265 on Tuesday, Sept. 6.

I have been in a much better mood lately and can tolerate Porterville. In fact I'm looking at the positives about the city again, which is of course the location. There are some good hikes just on the edge of the city and great people here. All of this stems from the fact I can now see a way out of Porterville; I will leave this place soon. Also, there are new people starting at work, so the stressful chapter is likely behind me, likely to be looked back upon and laughed at.

Finally, my parents visited this weekend; it's always great to see them. They even got the chance to see the ranch in Springville and meet Mr. Boo, Spirit and the rest of the cattle and horses that call it home. But most importantly, they brought me a handful of bottles of wine. Cheers!

18/7 - The first day at work knowing one person in particular was gone forever was excellent. The mood in the office was so relaxed and our spirits were higher. It goes to show how much the atmosphere and chemistry of a workplace can be improved by removing a cancer.