Couchsurfing, San Francisco and an epiphany about Self

14/9 - One life chapter is slowly but surely coming to an end, while another begins. One passion has been extinguished, but a new one has been given life and is growing. While it was a mistake to return to Porterville, it certainly wasn't a waste of time. I'm constantly learning new things, both about the world and about myself.

One such method for this is through Couchsurfing. Over the past two nights I have hosted two sets of people. The first was Isabelle and Bruno, a married French couple in their late 50s. They're a pair or cyclists who have ridden through 55 countries and 75,000 miles since 2006. Both are weather-beaten and dark skinned, with their feet showcasing deep tan lines from their sandals while on the bikes. Bruno, a thin man who is shorter than I am, has long, gray hair which reaches down to below his shoulders. He wore short running shorts and a sleeveless shirt when I opened the door, and his glasses are unlike any I've seen before because the lenses are big enough to cover his eye sockets; they reminded me of Harry Potter's glasses.

Both Bruno and Isabelle have strong French accents and give off a strong hippy vibe, but they were a pleasure to talk to. They made coffee for me in the morning, and I shared some of the jam some of the other French Couchsurfers left me.

Last night I hosted Alex, a Russian who lives in Las Vegas. This was his first CS experience and highly enjoyed it. As he walked out of the door this morning to leave he said he felt like he had stayed much longer and knew us for a long time. He was a very talkative man, which I certainly appreciate. He was the perfect CS guest, one who understands the "spirit" of CS. He shared lots of his stories, such as helping organizing the ski and snowboard events for the 2014 Sochi Olympics, and he cooked breakfast, cleaned the dishes and brought me a six-pack of beer, even though he doesn't drink. Hopefully I cross paths with him again.

By hosting such random travelers, you can see how different everyone's story is. Everyone is doing something different, has a different background. Everyone, no matter where they're from, has something to offer and something meaningful to say.

As for the French visa application, the only hurdle left is to buy a return shipping label so the consulate can return my passport to me. The appointment is one Friday, and it feels like that appointment in time has been building up for more than a month. It has been a point which has been growing larger and larger on the horizon, something I've known is coming for a long time. So I'm looking forward to the drive into Daly City and then the BART ride into the city.

18/9 - Over the past week, I've come to the conclusion that I need to correct several personal flaws, some of which won't be easy. I'm highly undisciplined, I lack self-control, I'm not patient, I'm cynical and the way I carry and present myself to other people has to change. I must change the way I treat people, especially those who are older, much more experienced and clever than I am and who are willing and eager to pass off their knowledge to me. Over the past couple of years, I've become a disrespectful, trolling, sarcastic, selfish asshole. I've moved away from and forgotten the simple concept of respect. I haven't used the words "Sir" or "Ma'am" in a while, or even use "Mr." or Mrs." I really do dislike what I've become. So, I'll make sure Monday ends on a high note with the newspaper, and the year in France will be treated as an opportunity to look myself in the mirror in an effort to correct these issues. I will focus on finding ways to make myself a better, more respectful, and more disciplined, human being.

Anyway, I made it to the French Consulate in San Francisco after waiting for more than a month on Friday. I paid my fee for the visa and gave them fingerprints. They also still have my passport. But there is a hangup regarding specifics about my pay with Bleacher Report. The consulate wants to know whether I can support myself with that job, so I need to return next week with that information from B/R.

The most convenient thing about this snag was the fact I was able to walk exactly one block away from the French Consulate and enter the Bleacher Report office to get the necessary email and phone numbers for me to correct this issue and get the ball rolling.

San Francisco itself is an amazing city. I made sure to wear a sportcoat to the Consulate, and I felt I belonged. This was one of my first attempts to better myself, as I made an effort to dress myself in order to look presentable while not only at the Consulate, but in public. It made me feel great!

 

But since the city is so expensive, I chose to take care of my business there and then get on BART back to Daly City where I parked. The rest of the day on Friday was spent with a couple of friends in Pacifica eating Mexican and Thai food. It was during dinner when I caught myself being disrespectful towards my friends. As I was giving them a bad time, I found myself wondering why I kept going! No one was offended (as evidenced from all of the laughter), but I sent a note of apology later.

I took a seat on a boulder on the beach in Pacifica Saturday morning after my buddy left for work. It was here where I focused on how the waves broke along the shoreline, following the top of the water eventually tumble over itself which creates that roar of rushing water. It was relaxing, but also enlightening. As I breathed in the clean, fresh, ocean air, I was inspired, finally, to really change. Life is all about treating people as people first and foremost, carrying yourself well and, most importantly, respect.

My short time in the Bay Area was an invaluable one because motivation has been ignited within myself once again. I'll use that motivation to better myself over the next 10 months to a year, and it's an exciting thought. If all goes well, France will help me go through an evolution into someone much more likable, more disciplined and one who understands how people really should be treated.

Until next time.

Epiphanies, meeting an old friend and San Francisco

1/3 - I learned something about myself this weekend; it was an epiphany, if you will.

When it comes to traveling, I don't overthink anything. I book the plane tickets and figure out where I'll stay just a few days before, if not the same day. It's the spontaneity I love about that. In fact, I underthink traveling sometimes, but my adventures have pretty much always turned out memorable and successful. I don't care how safe that area is. I don't care about every single noteworthy spot. I hate to plan every step of the way; just being there is the thrill for me, and a great story always seems to come out of it.

When it comes to women, I overthink every step of the way which is why I've had minimal success with the opposite sex throughout my life. I overanalyze and care too much. Now, if only I could adopt the travel mindset when talking to women or asking them out for a date. That would (theoretically, in my head) make it easier on me. There's never spontaneity with women. I always end up hanging back and thinking too much, psyching myself out of talking to females. I don't relate to them, nor do I completely understand them, but I'm attracted to women. If anything that comes from this, it's this:

Overthinking murders spontaneity.

I spent the weekend in the Bay Area because Danny was visiting from the United Kingdom for work. This is the guy with whom I went on two epic road trips and we've seen each other at our worst, so it was good to hang out with him, even if it was only for a few hours in Mountain View.

We spent a few hours catching up and talking about old times in England at Bournemouth. While I do miss seeing my friends from there, living in the dorm and traveling everywhere, I'm at peace with the fact I moved back to California. I've said this many times before, but I took total and complete advantage of that year abroad; I have no regrets.

We drove around in his brand new Camaro convertible and visited the Google headquarters. The campus is neat because there are bicycles for employee use called "Google bikes." It seemed like a great place to work, though we never saw the inside of the building.

And after Danny had to leave for work, I drove a bit farther north to South San Francisco where I screwed around in the San Bruno Mountain State Park, where I did a bit of walking and shooting pictures with the GoPro. It's always such a thrill to get out in nature, to a place where you can hear yourself think and shirk all adult responsibility if only for a few hours. The mountain I hiked overlooked San Francisco and Daly City. It was a clear day, except for the fog that shrouded the Bay Bridge.

Later, I took BART into the city to have lunch with a friend. San Francisco is always fun to visit, to wander around on foot. It's very colorful, like Dublin is, and one of the most fun things to do in the city is to sit back and people-watch (there's no shortage of characters in San Francisco).

The short encounter with Danny and the trek into San Francisco made me realize something else: I could be doing a lot better in terms of work and the way I present myself. Perhaps I'm too comfortable in this spot. I haven't set any goals for myself in the near future, and that's part of the reason why my Coast Guard application is still very much unfinished. It's also why I haven't applied to anywhere else for work, or even explored openings. It's also the reason I show up to work in a T-shirt, jeans, ratty shoes and a beard that has grown out of control.

I'm cheating myself, all because I've fallen into a routine that is comfortable. I'm not shooting for more, which is unfortunate...

In other news, my trip to Chicago is booked. I'll only be there for three nights, but it should be a great time. I've heard nothing but good things about that city.